


Excerpts from Gamera's "Feelings" Journal

by dark_roast



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-10
Updated: 2006-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-10 20:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/103930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_roast/pseuds/dark_roast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rated PG for language.<br/>Episode(s) Referenced: K04-K08; 302,304,308,312,316 (Gamera versus, in alphabetical order: Barugon, Gaos, Guiron & Zigra)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Excerpts from Gamera's "Feelings" Journal

February 27  
Yeah, yeah. I'm really neat, and I'm full of turtle meat. Now, shut up.

March 1  
Somebody please tell me: what is Barugon, anyway? I mean, I am a turtle, and, although I don't really get the whole thing with the singing miniature twins, Mothra is clearly a moth, and Godzilla is a dinosaur. But Barugon is this freaky rainbow-of-death-shooting, tongue-punching, hydrophobic dog-lizard thing from a tropical island, who lays giant opals for eggs. What the hell is that about? While I'm on the subject, Gaos is sort of this triangle-bird-flying squirrel thing in a caftan who drinks blood, and Zigra is a parrot-fish-spaceship-hypno-overlord-xylophone from the planet Zigron, like that's not totally egotistical, who's afraid of light and grows bigger because of our water pressure (Whatever!), and then Guiron is a giant paring knife from outer space who fires shuriken out of a hole in his head... and sometimes, I just don't even know anymore. I really don't.

March 8  
I think I saw Elvis yesterday. I hope he will get irradiated, and grow gigantic, and then I could fight him. That would be awesome!

April 12  
Everybody keeps talking about how pollution and industrial waste are ruining the Earth, which is sort of ironic since, without nuclear radiation, I wouldn't even be around to save all their stupid asses from these giant monsters who keep attacking Tokyo.

April 13  
It's not easy being green. Man, that is so true.

May 3  
Gamera do this, Gamera do that. Gamera, save us! Some days I really feel like just pulling my head in again, and going back to sleep.

May 17  
I love fire! Yum, yum, yum!

May 19  
This is a terrible confession to make, but I have to get this off my shell: I really enjoy stomping on buildings and pulling down high-tension wires.

May 23  
Maybe all those other monsters are bad because they're pissed off about looking so goofy.

June 2  
Rodan asked me the other day if I get dizzy when I fly because, you know, I have to spin around to propel myself. I told him I never really thought about it, but now it's totally going to bug me.

June 11  
Initially, I was pretty mad about how they put me in a missile, and shot me to the moon, after that first time I stomped on their city. But, now I like it here. Sometimes on Earth, the higher gravity makes me feel really fat, and I get sort of cranky, and then I end up setting fire to more things than I should. Although, Diary -- this is totally embarrassing, but the other day, I totally high-centered on Olympus Mons, and it took me, like, three hours to get down! I'm so glad nobody was here to see that.

June 15  
I like those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Especially Donatello.

June 20  
Those other monsters all get so mad when I hide in my shell. LOLZ!

July 1  
Someday, I'd like to try that "Con-chair-to" wrestling move on some monster. I wonder if those scientists would build me a really, really big chair.

August 16  
Children are tasty. I don't know why they can't toss me a couple kids after a job well done. It doesn't mean I'm evil. They've got dolphins and killer whales playing basketball, and they all get fish as a reward, and I do a whole lot more than put a frikkin' ball through a net. Seriously, there are so many of those humans; who's gonna miss a few dozen?

August 17  
Goddammit, that stupid "Gamera" song is stuck in my head again!


End file.
